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But every now and then I'll explain something in private to one of my readers and it occurs to me that perhaps others might like the same cosmic wisdom about their relationships.

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He can't ask for it, any more than you can ask for a dozen red roses or jewelry, or it doesn't count. Yes, that requires recourse to calendars and schedules and such. No talk about work, kids, school, friends, family, symptoms, your problems, your hectic schedule, your impossible workload -- once you commit to a GFE, it's all about how much you think of him. But don't talk to him like a wife, treat him like a hot new boyfriend you really want to impress.

The Marital GFE has to be given out of pure grace, because you, his girlfriend see that he, your boyfriend, is in need and you want to do something for him out of the goodness of his heart. But you can't mutually plan a GFE, nor may he initiate it. If he knows its coming, it's just more marital sex, no mater how inspired. That can be anything from $300 lingerie to that halter top you know he likes to that hooker costume from halloween to being buck naked and quivering in passion. Making the effort shows you're serious, and that you take him seriously. It's not about you (even though it's entirely about you). Fifth, since you, the woman, took the initiative, you, the woman, are in control.

That means no power saws, no sanding, no saw dust, no smelly stain, NO MESS!

It's not often that I write about "girl Game", and it doesn't come up a lot in marriage blogs.

After the financial arrangement has been satisfied, then for the duration of the appointment the professional showers the client with physical affection -- hugging, kissing, holding hands, praising him, asking him about himself, and acting utterly fascinated by everything that falls out of their client's mouths -- no matter how banal. All of those things are part-and-parcel of the infatuation stage of a relationship as it culminates with sex.

She is not just selling her body, here, she's selling her sexual interest in him. It shocks these poor wives to learn that their husbands were paying good money for stuff they didn't really mind doing at home -- and they can't understand why. The fact that a woman is willing to tend to his sexual needs in a way that flatters his masculinity and sense of self so much that many men experience an unadulterated surge of Alpha testosterone.For the dudes who turned to a pro, it's often the GFE that lures them in.And it would be instructive for some wives to understand just what the GFE is, and why it has such a potent attraction.After that, he was in a dopamine-soaked haze, dripping with testosterone and starlight whenever the image of your face came to mind.You might remember it differently, but likely he thought the first sex (or maybe the third -- sometimes it takes a few to find the memorable one) you had together was AMAZING, so amazing he started considering what it would be like to spend the rest of his life with that naughty vixen.And when it does happen, it's good, solid responsible married-people sex, two positions max, no oral, see you in a fortnight. Sure, it's nice when it happens, but the way he mopes around about it, and then gets frustrated, well, you're his Wife, not his damn sex slave. Long after trading in your engagement ring for a wedding band, he still thought about you as "my girlfriend I'm going to marry" in his subconscious.

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